This simple line from Matthew Quick’s We Are the Light (2022) struck me as a short, but powerful string of words. It made me think about what my husband often shouts at the television when we watch the evening news—, “what is wrong with people?”

Good question. “You can’t give what you don’t have,” is part of the answer. People raised with zero moral compass go out into the world with zero moral compass.  

This book details the aftermath and senseless deaths of a mass shooting at a movie theater. It deftly explores why these tragedies have increased in recent years, how survivors move forward, how easy it is to blame and judge and collapse into grief.

The Power of Community

What light emerged from the darkness of this fictional massacre? Community. Giving of themselves and of their resources, proved more of an important and practical solution than taking away people’s guns (although stricter gun laws certainly make sense).

The author suggests that the young person in the story couldn’t give anything of value to the world as he’d been given very little of value himself. The violence isn’t excused, but the story offers a way forward, a way to curb the cycle of abused, neglected, and lost children in our country. Giving respect and empathy to others and to our environment, especially to those different from ourselves and to those with ideas opposite of our own, —that is the answer.

I recently found people (outside our government) doing exactly that.

Do Unto Others

With my parent’s move last month, considering throwing away vast amounts of slightly wrinkled packing paper and heavy-duty moving boxes sent me into a bit of a tizzy. Recycling, for the most part is a useless exercise. Most of your recycling goes right into landfills. My exhausted and overwhelmed parents thought I was nuts, but I needed to find a use for the paper.

It took a little longer to unpack, but we all began smoothing out and piling up the large sheets of paper. As I drove around town if I passed any building that looked like it had anything to do with children or art, I stopped in and offered them some paper.

That’s how I found the All Star Children’s Foundation (https://allstarchildren.org/) and they happily took a trunkful. A private foundation with a mission to “build a brighter future for children in foster care through innovation, science and compassion,” they are giving these children respect, empathy, encouragement, and education.

I was shocked to learn the high statistics of foster children who grow up to then have their children placed in foster care. This foundation is helping to repair the mental health of a forgotten portion of our country’s youth. The line from this book rang in my head as I drove away. This—the world needs more of this.

Giving IS Receiving

And then there were the boxes. I was surprised that I found people willing to take my used paper, but the biggest surprise came when I called a moving company. Even though they sell boxes and packing paper, they referred one of their customers to me.

A guy came with a large van and was thrilled to collect the boxes and ripped up paper for his upcoming move. He told my dad he bought the van because he recently started a business driving people to the airport. Guess who needed a ride to the airport that week? My parents. They didn’t need a free ride (they have me!) and my dad insisted on paying the guy when he volunteered to pick them up upon their return. Still, it’s always nice to have a reliable ride to the airport.

So, yeah, you can’t give what you don’t have, but you also get what you give. And that’s a reason to give—the feeling that you can make a difference, no matter how small. It’s a good feeling.

Small Steps Matter

I know my paper and box donations make an insignificant dent in the amount of waste in the world and I know most people wouldn’t go to the trouble that I did. But I tell the story because it demonstrates a respect for my world and it’s a respect that isn’t prevalent in our daily lives.

For all the young college campus voices screaming about climate change and that their parents destroyed their planet, as I moved my kids home from college last week, I wonder why the dumpsters are filled. I wonder why the University doesn’t take a stand and change this process (yes there are charity tents set up, but still the dumpsters are full).

My husband read this post and failed to see my connection between me finding reuses for my paper and boxes and the violence detailed in the featured book.

So, let me be clear: giving can start small, but without it, we are failing to teach young people what matters. And that is how we end up with young people with no hope, and no regard for life. They can’t give what they never had. 

Finding people who value the world in the way that I do gave me hope—hope that we can find the light in ourselves. Hope that we can shine in the face of the darkness. Hope that one day there will be more good, rather than bad stories reported on the evening news.

Thanks Matthew Quick, this is one great line!

If you’d like to read more about We Are the Light, click here.

If you’d like to read about me, and why I started this blog, click here.