I am the parent who pays close attention to my children’s required summer reading. I do it because it gives me a chance to engage them in a conversation about one of my favorite topics—books.

So, this summer, my daughter has Exit West on her AP Literature class reading list and it is the only book of her required three that I made it through.

AP Literature Dropout

I’m embarrassed to admit, as an English major, author, and lover of the written word, I couldn’t get through Pride and Prejudice and Great Expectations. Neither book held my attention. I wanted to poke my eyeballs out. Perhaps my young adult self had a different attention span when I read and appreciated the dozens of classics that still sit on my bookshelf. 

Then I picked up Exit West and found this great line: “When we migrate, we murder the ones we leave behind.” It’s a powerful sentence summarizing a powerful story.

The main characters migrate from their war-torn country as certain death chases them if they stay. They have little chance of returning to see their loved ones again. Perhaps the only way for them to gather the courage to migrate is to bury, in their minds, the people they leave behind.

Among Strangers

Exit West made me think of my upcoming migration, which, in comparison, may not qualify as a migration at all. And yet, I currently live within sixteen miles from where I was born, so I think moving over two hundred miles away is a big deal. Leaving the area I’ve called home for over fifty years is terrifying. It may seem like a tiny step out of my comfort zone, but it’s a massive one to me.

I will no longer run into high school acquaintances at Publix, long-forgotten law school classmates at Dave Matthews concerts or parents of my children’s pre-school friends at the gym. I will have to find new favorite stores and doctors, a new gym, and a new book club (if they don’t want to let me take my turn to host via Zoom). Other than my husband, I won’t know anyone, and I’ve never lived anyplace where I didn’t know at least one person.

Never Left Home

I’m the one in my family who doesn’t leave. My two older siblings each left Florida and have lived in at least three different states since college. I’m just migrating three and a half hours north.

I’m scared and excited and stressed about packing up the house we’ve lived in for twenty-one years, but will I murder the people I leave behind? Absolutely not. Will it take effort to keep my friendships? Absolutely. With a reliable car and internet, there’s no reason to think I won’t be able to keep the people I leave behind in South Florida tucked close in my heart.

Ready for My Close-up

As I sat last Friday evening enjoying a usual cocktail with my neighbor, when I told her about our imminent move, she voiced concerns she’d never see me again, but I imagine us having cocktail hour via FaceTime. It won’t be the same, but it will be something.

My willingness to leave everyone I know also shocked one of my other friends. How will I ever make our already impossible to schedule lunches with the girls? I told her I’d get on the road by 8:30. It’s the least I can do, and we only meet two or three times a year.

I’m not that worried because even before the pandemic, I was a homebody. I will not leave behind a thriving social life where I’m out every Saturday night. I will just be a homebody somewhere else. A homebody hoping to find some good friends and neighbors like I have here.

Choosing Change

It’s time for a change. A new adventure awaits, and I will have to learn to use FaceTime like my daughter does. She snaps and texts and uses FaceTime—that’s how she communicates. When I migrate, I will have to commit to doing the same. I will have to take off my comfy pants, put on a bra and visit “in person,” so I can make sure my migration doesn’t murder those I leave behind.

A real friend will always take my FaceTime call, no matter what.

Thanks, Mohsin Hamid, this is one great line.

If you can relate to this great line, I’d love to hear from you! Please scroll down and leave a comment.

If you’d like to read more about Exit West, click here.

If you’d like to read about me and why I started this blog click here.