This great line from If You Want To Make God Laugh by Bianca Marais makes me think of my writing journey. After six years, with one complete unpublished manuscript and a second one just twenty-five percent complete, I struggle to imagine that I am capable of blossoming at all. It feels impossible to be “seen” in an industry that offers few entrance and gives little feedback to those it considers. I am told that I am lucky to have had over a dozen agents/editors even consider my story, and yet…in the past year I have felt mostly invisible and unable to sprout, no less blossom. Recently, one thing changed—I let my dad read my story, 

After completing my first manuscript, and then two years of brutal editing, revising and the agent querying process, my father would ask every few months—when can I read it ? Responding, “when it gets published”—his opinion meant so much to me, I didn’t think I could move forward if he hated it.

One day, after receiving another email from an agent passing on my manuscript, my dad happened to stop by my office. He asked me if there was any news from agents. After hearing my frustrations in trying to understand that particular agent’s feedback, he asked again, why don’t you let me read it? And so, I printed up a copy, mailed it off to him and anxiously waited for his review. 

My father is an honest, critical and judgmental person. He’s also an avid reader. Even though I knew he would tell me the truth, there was still a part of me that worried he would simply tell me what he thought I wanted to hear. After he read it, he gave me sharp valuable feedback, honing on the positive and negative aspects of the manuscript, and I like to think I accepted it all gracefully.

But, when he told me that the last chapter brought tears to his eyes and that I had definitely proven that I could write, I felt seen by him in a way I don’t know that I ever had. It was one of the top five moments of my life. In that moment I gave myself permission to keep writing. I know I shouldn’t need anyone’s approval to feel confident, but his helped me feel understood. It was truly as if my petals unfolded and reached toward the sun. Thanks, Dad. Thanks Bianca Marais, this is one great line.

If you want to read more about If You Want To Make God Laugh, click here. 

If you want to read about me and why I started this blog, click here.