I highlighted this line in The Authenticity Project by Clare Pooley because it made me laugh. It was a sarcastic jab at one of the characters in the book portrayed as tidy, efficient, cautious, and prepared. I also chuckled because I married someone who is the most prepared person I know and I am the opposite.  Neat, organized, careful and prepared are not things I am known for in my household.

It’s not that I’m incapable of being any of those things, sometimes I am all of them. But it doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m the person who gets flour all over the counter when I bake and leaves a packed suitcase laying around for a week upon returning home from travel. I forget that I have boiling water on the stove and am lazy about making plans.

Opposites Attract

I need a little more efficiency in my life and my husband needs a little more spontaneity. We’ve been married twenty-two years, together for twenty-six and although we haven’t killed each other yet, we’ve certainly had more than one fight about my habits or lack thereof. I have dropped a pole saw on his car and spilled paint in the driveway. Until we were halfway to the airport, I didn’t realize I left my wallet at home and I have locked our keys in the car just as we arrived at a weekend music festival in the Everglades. He loves me anyway. Most of the time, we appreciate each other’s differences, even rely on them, and that adds a balance to our lives that we both need. I cook. He cleans. It works. Love you, honey.

Yet as I remembered this line about preparation and spontaneity, I realized there is one part of my life where I am most definitely tidy and efficient, cautious, and prepared—my writing. I am what’s called a “plotter,” — someone who outlines and plans the details of their story before starting. Conversely, a “pantser” sits down to write without a roadmap of characters, plots, or structure.

Based on everything else I do, you would think I would be a pantser, but “pantsing” is a great challenge for me. The plotter inside my head keeps me from starting and finishing projects. She has trouble moving forward until she’s done whatever it is she thinks she needs to do. She imagines just the exact amount of research, outlining, planning etc. will make writing flow like magic. Lately, I’ve been stuck with no magic, no outline, no research, and no plan.

Going Against My Grain

So, in the last week of October, to jolt myself out of the “what do I do now?” dizzying spiral I was in, I committed to starting a new novel. The goal was to write 50,000 words in the month of November. It was time to plant the seed for the story I’d kept in my head for the last year.

November arrived and I jumped in and wrote 1711 words the first day. I wrote scenes out of order as they came to me and played with a new structure. I skipped around the story and worked on other chapters when I got stuck. Satisfied with my average of 1000 words a day, I didn’t let the fact that I was perpetually behind the daily goal of 1667 words bother me. But around the 14^th day, when I reread what I had written, it seemed empty and heartless—15785 words of unorganized nonsense. Opening my laptop every morning became a dreaded chore as opposed to a creative outlet. Without a plan, I was uncomfortable. It must be the way my husband felt about so many things.

It surprised me to find that although I was usually unprepared and spontaneous in life, “pantsing” was beyond me. Now, I realize I’m more of a “hybrid”— a little bit of “pantsing” got me started, and I’m thankful for that, but too much of it was killing the inspiration “plotting” usually provided me. I gave myself permission to close the file for a few weeks so I could get back to plotting. I needed more time to decide where I wanted my story to go. It was too unnerving for me to write without it.

Map to Inspiration

Perhaps the same balance that helps my marriage thrive can help me succeed as a writer. Planning can be a great guide, but if I choose to wander off my path, I can always go back to my map to find the way out of the woods. If I discover something amazing while wandering in the forest, I might find the courage to draw a new map.

Preparation as a means to spontaneous inspiration doesn’t seem so funny to me anymore.

Thanks, Clare Pooley, this is one great line.

If you can relate to this great line, I’d love to hear from you! Please scroll down and leave a comment.

If you’d like to read more about The Authenticity Project, click here.

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