In her book Normal People, Sally Rooney uses succinct words and phrasing to give readers a clear understanding of how and why her characters navigate young love. One particular line stayed with me more than any other: “Life is the thing you bring with you inside your own head.” I find this idea absolutely liberating.

Quieting the notion that there are forces beyond my own consciousness affecting me, leaves me glaringly free to acknowledge that I’m in charge of what I think, how I react, and how I perceive the world. It’s up to me. I get to decide.

If only I can remember these words in moments where I’m feeling sorry for myself because my life hasn’t taken the direction I imagined or when I worry about what I should do, or how I should behave, or what people think of me and my decisions—well, that would be incredibly empowering.

These days I mostly worry about what my next step should be. My children are getting older and my career has changed. What should I do with my time? If I can remember that my life is what I bring to it, I might fall asleep more easily, sleep more soundly, have less muscles spasms in my neck.

Maybe, I could learn how to put needless worry aside, so it doesn’t cloud over my days. I could live the life I choose to bring with me inside my head, take confident responsibility for my choices, my happiness, my life—no one else’s, just mine.

My life may not be all that I imagined it would be, not yet. Ms. Rooney’s words remind me that as long as I keep the idea of what I want nurtured inside my head, I have a shot at getting there. Thanks, Sally Rooney, that is one great line.

If you’d like to read more about Normal People, click here.

If you’d like to read more about me and why I started this blog, click here.