It is inexplicably unfair of me to claim to relate to the words of Abi Daré’s character Adunni, in The Girl with the Louding Voice—she is a fourteen-year-old Nigerian girl forced into marriage and then domestic slavery. Still, I’ve printed “I am a somebody of value,” on an index card and pinned it to my bulletin board. Her words moved me.

I imagine they are words we all need to hear. It’s doesn’t matter that we have differing plights. These words transcend culture and class, race and religion, gender and geography. We all need to recognize we are somebodies of value. Because if we don’t, it may be impossible to get up in the morning and contribute valuably to the world.

Lately, I question what gives me value, whether “I am a somebody of value.” At one time, I know that value was unquestionably my career.

What Is My Value?

I fell into my job in Human Resources by accident, and I loved it. My children laugh at me as they only know my career to be like that of “Toby” from The Office, always the butt of Steve Carrell’s jokes and disdain. But I enjoy having a part in hiring the right person, counseling employees to success, listening to their problems and solving them when I can. People spend so much time at work, I find value in balancing the company’s goals with employee satisfaction so that each party gets to succeed.

When I got pregnant, I imagined working at least part-time until my children were old enough to go to school. I never intended to stop working. When the company I worked for closed, for the time being I didn’t have to work, and so I looked for my value in nurturing my family.

Work After Children

Once my children started pre-school and then elementary school, I never officially searched for a job. I threw myself into volunteering at my children’s school. Sure, it would have been nice to receive a paycheck for that, and eventually I taught at that school and received one, but it was the feeling of being needed, of working on worthy projects, of contributing to a world outside of my home—that was priceless.

When job opportunities presented themselves, I ran to them with a thirst I didn’t know I had. I took any job that came my way and sucked the marrow of those jobs for every bit of value I could find. I consulted in HR, taught Mommy & Me music classes, assisted in the creation and teaching of an elementary school gardening program, until I finally found a part-time human resource position I loved. I even began the writing journey I ached for since being the Features Editor of my high school newspaper. 

Even though my first novel didn’t get published, I had a paying job, and I started a new manuscript. My sense of value was intact. Until earlier this year, when I lost that job. Now, I’m finding I need reminding that “I am a somebody of value.” With one child off at college this year, another driving herself everywhere she needs to be, no paying job and struggling to get my second book published, my “value” is hardly apparent to me anymore.

Writing vs Ice Cream

Deep down, under my self-pity and despair, I know I’m not alone. Many women who leave careers to start a family feel my loss; there are people with hardships I will never experience; and empty nesters experience similar pangs of “what do I do now?” I also know and feel, most days, that I have so much to be thankful for.

And yet this line resonated with me more strongly than any I’ve read this year. I didn’t realize I forgot I am a somebody of value. So, I’m writing my feelings (instead of eating ice cream) hoping if I find the courage to post this, I will rediscover my value or at least continue to search for it. For my readers, I wish the same. We all have value, we need to find and embrace it.

Thanks, Abi Daré, this is one great line.

If you can relate to this great line, I’d love to hear from you! Please scroll down and leave a comment.

If you’d like to read more about The Girl with the Louding Voice click here.

If you’d like to read about me and why I started this blog click here