I don’t want to write about this. I want to leave the headlines and the politics to someone else. But in the last week, I’ve realized there is no way for me not to write about this. And like the world I want to live in, I want to write about this with respect for both sides of the issue. Besides, I really liked this book.

Set in the 1950’s and 60’s about a female chemist working in a man’s world that refuses to acknowledge her as such, there were several great lines in Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. As discussed in my book club, (where not everyone liked the book as much as I did—potato, potahto) the story touched on several themes: dysfunctional families, homophobia, suicide, sexual harassment, and single parenting. But really at its heart, it’s a book about a woman, living in a time where men don’t take her seriously. That was then, this is now. But is it?

My Men

The men in my life have always taken me seriously. Did I suffer sexist jokes from the upper management male dominated banking industry that I worked in? Absolutely. But I was never made to feel less than my male management peers. I had a voice in the workplace, and no one put their hand up my skirt. My father encouraged me to choose whatever career I wanted. I wasn’t raised with limits because of my gender and my husband respects my decisions to mostly do whatever I want (except wearing shoes in the house, he draws the line there).

Stereotypes I Live With

I hope I’ve shown my eighteen and twenty-year-old offspring that they, too, can cross gender stereotypes if they choose to. They can do and be whatever and whoever they want. The two gender stereotypes we struggle with as a family are, one—my husband’s insistence that it’s okay for my son to be alone in his room with a girlfriend but it’s not okay for my daughter to be alone with a boyfriend. My daughter and I don’t agree, but for different reasons. She wants the same privacy of a closed door that her brother gets, and I want the respect of a half-way open door for them both. And two—the idea that women aren’t good drivers. For this one, my daughter and I both have a record of accidents, and I can only say I know lots of excellent women drivers. In my own personal defense, women multi-task, men don’t, and I’m happy to be chauffeured around any time. So, other than that, I feel taken seriously as a woman, until last week when Roe v. Wade was overturned.

If A Man Could…

My father always says if men could get pregnant, the legality of abortion would never be a question. That’s the kind of man that raised me. That’s the kind of man I married and the son I raised. And I know it’s not just men that have an opinion on this, lots of women don’t believe in abortion, but I can’t help thinking the discussion would be different if an unwanted pregnancy affected a man in the same way it affects a woman.

Questions & Answers

For me, it’s not a question of whether terminating a pregnancy is right or wrong. I understand all the opinions about when “life” begins. But to me, it’s a simple question of whether anyone, male or female, has the right to make decisions for a pregnant woman. Answer: it’s her body, end of discussion. Go away government – there’s so many other problems for you to solve—leave my body alone.

Thanks, Bonnie Garmus, this is one great line.

If you can relate to this great line, I’d love to hear from you! Please scroll down and leave a comment.

If you’d like to read more about Lessons in Chemistry, click here.

If you’d like to read about me, and why I started this blog, click here.